I’ve been the child in the crib, crying and crying and crying, and I’m learning to self-soothe.
It’s been relatively difficult to learn what makes me happy, because a large portion of learning what makes me happy is learning who I am. What does this person want? What does it take to get it?
There are two things that I have found accomplish this.
1. Go somewhere new, do something new
Usually this means exploring the city by myself, though occasionally I’ll pack a friend along with me. This city is so vast that there is alway somewhere new to go and something new to do. It’s all a matter of leaving the house and deciding where I’m going to go, or picking a direction and going there. Doing something new makes me happy. Experiencing new things makes me feel like I’m living. Like I’m alive. And that makes me happy, of course.
2. Slow down
I can do 99% of the things I need to do in life online. Listen to music, watch movies, find a recipe, order a pizza, street view myself into a different city… People used to leave their house, buy cds, listen to music through a stereo, look in cookbooks, rent DVDs… Life existed outside of a box. We had to interact with people. Go different places for different things. Now we can practically get everything-do everything all in one place. And should you happen to leave the house, life is even extra convenient then. Get your Redbox movie while you get your fast food dinner all while you sit in your car.
Today I was feeling like I wanted to scream. The stress is monumental. So I got on my bike and I rode to Movie Madness. I opened an account and rented some movies. Real, tangible things. It felt great. I even picked up a newspaper on the way. It is so hard to tear myself away from the computer when I have so much going on here, but if I take the time to slow down and do things in different ways I always feel better about myself.
And that’s something worth trying for.
I picked up the first Doctor Who story, The Fighter, and Howl. I was feeling indecisive at first and by the time I was ready to leave I had to put several DVDs back as to not rent out the entire store. It may surpass coffee in the place that gets the most -$5 expenditures out of me. And that’s impressive.