We’re laying on the couch. The two of them on top of each other and me collapsed against them. It’s comfortable. We’re watching the television. There’s something baking in the oven. When something funny comes on the TV we crunch up and laugh, we make comments at the screen. It’s one of those moments that comes free of thought. It’s okay to lay like this because I know these people. It’s okay to say these things because I know they’re thinking them too. It’s comfortable. You don’t have to pretend to be somebody else.
Those moments take me off guard. When you realize you can be yourself. I don’t know if it’s because it feels nice to be unabashedly honest or if it’s because it makes me realize how often I have some sort of face on. Little things I’ve picked up. People like this, people like that, do this, do that, wear this, wear that, say this then and in this voice with this posture if you want to convey this message. These things don’t take much effort anymore. I fall into them. Appropriate ways of being for whatever such environment. I don’t like pretending to be something I’m not but I’ve never really seen it that way. I just slip into something comfortable.
But these moments snap you out of whatever that is. That facade. And it’s goofy, silly, slightly awkward, politically incorrect. And it feels wonderful.