A moment of clarity, for me, is happiness. The ability to look at one thing separately from a collection of other things. To say this is good without having to say but these things are not. To accept goodness. To realize how lucky I am. To smile. To let things go. To be in the moment. Anxiety pushes you to think outside of the moment. To worry. To obsess. It’s been a long time since I’ve had anxiety but I feel like a lot of those habits are still there. Over-thinking, over-planning, wondering. Lot’s of wondering. You feel removed, out of body, out of space. I’ve been doing really well lately and it makes me think back and realize how far I’ve come since then. How contented I feel. That I’m in the right place, at the right time, doing the right things.
This is my senior year, holy shit. I’m almost done with college. I’m going to be a college graduate. I’m going to have a degree. A real honest to goodness degree. That makes me pretty happy too.