I’ve been by here before and I know it not by
The things around me
But by the way it makes me feel.

I walk barefoot down the gravel testing my own
Patience, stability,
I walk not knowing why.

I ache, the sun shining down, my eyes
I have this nightmare where I can’t open them
It’s so bright that they’ve sealed themselves shut
A thread ties them closed.

I put my hands out in front of me
And I keep walking.

I hear the gravel shift behind me and
A child walks by my side
And holds my hand
And guides me.

I ask them who they are
And a small voice replies
I am your eyes.

I stop in the gravel and sit down and
I want to cry but
It won’t come out.
I am all blocked up.
So she cries for me.
I am your eyes.

I tell her to stop.
She says
You cannot see.

The desperation fades and she stops crying.
I run my hands along her face
I slip my hands up to her brow
I slide a finger down her eyelids
Weren’t there at all.

I scream and another child runs into my back
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I don’t know where I am.
Another, and another.
They’re feeling their way.
Down the gravel road.

The little girl who cried for me
Stands up.
You didn’t think you were alone
Did you.
You didn’t think
You didn’t think you were the only one.

Did you?


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